America Changed Me a Little Bit

Living in America changed me more than I realised. After 8 years living in the United States as an Australian expat, I started noticing small changes in my patience, expectations, reactions, customer service standards, and everyday life. In this episode, I talk about the subtle ways living in America slowly changes you over time — often without you even noticing.

From waiting at a Jeep dealership in Nashville… to restaurant service, traffic frustration, appointments running on time, and returning to Australia for a visit… this became one of those moments where I realised I’d adapted more than I thought.

This is a reflective conversation about expat life, cultural differences between Australia and America, adjusting to life overseas, and the small everyday habits that quietly become normal after years abroad.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I was at a car dealership here in Nashville the other day and was dropping my wife's car off to be serviced. Walked in and something immediately fell off. Now I just stood at the counter and I sort of existed. No one said anything. There were people there on their phones, having conversations at the copier. One bloke looked up at me and then quickly went back to whatever it was he was doing. And I'm standing there thinking, am I invisible? Or is this part of the process? Like, was I meant to take a number or something, like you do at the DMV? You know, that moment when you're standing there and you're just thinking, like, do I say something or do I just keep standing here? So I stood there for about five minutes or so, which doesn't sound like that long. But you know what it's like? In that moment, it felt like it aged about a year. And then it hit me. Somewhere along the way, living in America has changed how I respond to things or what I expect in situations. Not in some big, obvious way, just small things, the way that I react to situations. What I expect when I walk into a place, even how patient I am, or maybe how impatient I am now instead. Not something that I really noticed at first. It just kind of happened. You better take cover. So I guess what surprised me wasn't what those guys at Jeep were doing. It was how I reacted to it. Because old me would have just stood there, probably pulled my phone out, waited my turn, no big deal. But this time, no, it bothered me. Like, why am I even here if no one's going to acknowledge me? And I won't actually go back there again. We've taken our business elsewhere. That's when it hit me. Somewhere along the way, my expectations on service interactions have changed. And I don't think it's because anything unusual has happened. I think it's mainly because here in the States, it's normal to get good service. And so once I noticed this, I started seeing it everywhere. It wasn't just that one moment. It had changed. It's changed how I judge places now, especially restaurants. If I walk in somewhere and no one acknowledges you, I feel it straight away. Even if the food's good. We're already there thinking, yeah, probably won't come back to this place. Yeah, probably sounds a bit harsh. But also, it's already decided. That is definitely new for me because old me wouldn't have cared that much. As long as the food turns up eventually, we're doing alright. But now, the greeting really sets the tone. It's like the whole experience gets decided in those first 10 seconds of when you walk in the door. And if it's off, I'm already halfway out. Not coming back. That's funny because this is the sort of thing I probably wouldn't have even noticed before. And now I notice it straight away. It's kind of like once you see it, you can't really unsee it. And I think that's the part that caught me off guard. Not that anything really changed around me, just that I'd started looking at things differently. So there's a steakhouse just down the road from us, so I think it's a Longhorn. Used to be an awesome place to go and get a steak. Food's still pretty good, but the service has dropped off a lot. And now, rather than driving five minutes down the road, I'll go to the other side of town just to avoid that place. It's got the same menu, you've got the same food, completely different feeling. And somehow now that is enough. That's, I guess, the part that surprised me because it's not that anything really changed around me, it's that my tolerance has changed. What I'm willing to put up with, what I notice, what I decide matters. And it's not just in stores or restaurants, it's in how I handle time now as well. So traffic is a big one. Yeah, I used to sit in traffic and just sit there. Bit annoying. Yeah, sure. You chuck the radio on, zone out for a bit, you get there when you get there. That was just part of the day. Now, uh-uh. I'm sitting there like I've been personally wronged. Like, why are we not moving? What's going on up there? Surely we can all just drive. And that can't just be me. Don't even get me started on indicators. I swear, some days I wish I was a traffic cop, just so I could book everyone who doesn't use them. That's like a pandemic here in Nashville. What is it? A shortage of blinker fluid at AutoZone. And then you start doing that thing where you change lanes, even though deep down you know it's not gonna make a shred of difference. But at least it feels like you're actually doing something, and then the lane that you just left starts moving. And you sit there thinking, yeah, that's on me. Absolutely no one else involved. I don't remember being like that before. Now, even things like appointments, because here they tend to run on time. You've got a slot, you're seeing pretty close to it. I was back in Australia, you could go to the doctor and sit there and wait for an hour or an hour and a half just to be seen. No one tends to really bat an eyelid at that. It was just part of it. But if that was to happen here, mate, you feel it, you're checking the time. You're looking around, you're starting to wonder if you've been forgotten, maybe you got the date wrong or something. And you probably didn't, but it feels like it. And again, nothing's really changed. Except me. After a while, I started noticing something else. It wasn't just what I expected from other people, it was what was happening in me. I think living here has really made me less patient. Definitely not something that I expected. Probably wouldn't have agreed to it either if I'd been asked, because everything in America is so available. Food, deliveries, drive-throughs, coffees in your hand before you even finished ordering it. You get so used to things happening really quickly. And once you do get used to that, anything that's slower starts to feel just wrong. Even when it's not. I've caught myself feeling that more and more. That little bit of tension, just that sense of, oh mate, come on. It's subtle, yeah, but it's definitely there. And I really noticed it when I went back to Australia last year. So it was there in Canberra, sitting at a cafe for breakfast. Walked in, no one greeted us, found our own table, had to go and find menus ourselves because there was none there. Service was a bit slow. And I remember sitting there and I was thinking, this is so different to what it's like back in America. And then almost straight away I caught myself because a few years ago that would have felt completely normal. I wouldn't have thought twice about it, but now I was noticing it. And that's when it really hit me. Nothing had changed in Australia. I had. That feeling of what you can't do today, you can get done tomorrow. It sits a bit easier, and I think part of me would probably happily go back to that sort of a lifestyle. Now, maybe that just means I need to be living on the coast somewhere, maybe down in the panhandle with a six-pack, just watching the sun go down over the Gulf. Not in a rush to be anywhere. I've actually been talking about those little moments like that each week in the podcast that comes out every Thursday, this week in America. Just the things that happen throughout the week. The ones you don't really think about at the time, but later on, they kind of stick with you. And if you've ever felt that shift as well, you'll probably recognise quite a few of them there. Give it a listen. You better take cover.